01 Dezember 2008

Hugh Gallagher: Man of Many Talents

This is an actual essay written by a college applicant. The author, Hugh Gallagher, now attends NYU.

3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear.

I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.

I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

But I have not yet gone to college.




Copied from: http://saunderslog.com/
Source: http://saunderslog.com/2005/11/21/hugh-gallagher-man-of-many-talents/

Thx to saunderslog.com

22 April 2008

Weil ich's grad seh... (Teil1)

Weil ich's grad seh muss ich doch gleich mal den Link dazu hier einstellen.
Wer kennt das schließlich nicht:
Es ist heiß, beinahe -8 bis 40 °C, man liegt nackt auf dem Rasen, die Wolken ziehen vorbei und während man Gedanken versunken vor sich hin dämmert merkt man auf einmal:
Aiii bei meinem Gemächt, mei Kehle is trocken, das Bier ist da, aber die Flasche zu!
Was tu ich nur....

Hier ist die Lösung:
  1. Das Handy rausholen (ähhh nein wir wollen nciht wissen wie es zu dem Nackten auf den Rasen kommt. Wer das allerdings bedenken will springe zu Punkt 4)
  2. Man gehe auf stuff.twoday.net
  3. man suche einen aufgeführten Gegenstand und öffne das Bier nach Anleitung


  4. (nur lesen wenn man sich durch den Beitext von 1. angesprochen fühlt) Man wische das Handy gründlichst am gras ab, wenn Wasser vorhanden, aufheben und hinterher Hände waschen. Nun springe man zu Punkt 2.

Hier noch ein paar Alternativen (youtube):
Viel Spaß damit und Prost!

13 April 2008

Lebenszeichen

*bleep* *bleep* *bleep* (Sputnik 1)

Lang lang ist's her das ich mich darauf besinnt ahbe mal wieder schriftlich etwas fest zu halten.
Nun ist es wieder soweit und die ersten Mütter ziehen ihre Kinder vom PC weg, kreischende pubertäre Mädchen brechen vor dem Monitor zusammen und Väter heulen ihren Töchtern nach.

Ja, ich blogge wieder *evillaugh* (Danke an www.wesleyshouse.freeserve.co.uk/)